2023 How the Tools Help Us Work the Steps

[00:00:03] Speaker A: Let's begin with the Serenity Prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. My name is Sheila and I'm a compulsive overeater. I and I'm here with Michelle and we are co leaders for the meeting. Is this too loud? Each of us will have up to 20 minutes to speak and then we'll open the room for shares. Up to three minutes. Could someone volunteer to be the timekeeper for this hour? Thank you so much Charlene. This session is being recorded. I'm going to go into my share now. The topic of this share is called how the Tools Help Us Work the Steps. It's my honor to be here and thank you all for doing service and being here and helping us to put on this wonderful convention. It's such a gift to be here four years later. So I just wanted to read the first real quickly, the introduction to the pamphlet, my well used pamphlet. As you can see, it's the pamphlet of the tools of recovery and it's just real quick. In Working Overeaters Anonymous 12 step program of Recovery From Compulsive Overeating we have found that a number of tools are available to assist us. We use these tools a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, the telephone, writing, literature, action plan, anonymity and service our nine tools on a regular basis to help us achieve and maintain abstinence and recover from our disease. In Overreaders Anonymous oa, the statement on abstinence and recovery is Abstinence is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working toward or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous 12 step program and many of us have found we cannot abstain from compulsive eating unless we use some or all of always nine tools of recovery to help us practice the 12 steps and 12 traditions. And as I just before I go on to the next part, I'm supposed to tell you that my name is Sheila. I almost said my last name but Sheila G. And I'm a compulsive overeater and I've been in this program for 31 years and I've been maintaining a weight loss of about £120. And this is. I would not be alive today. This program saves my life, every day of my life. And I brought over a couple of pictures. I can't even. I can't even Find me in here. But I think you can see the size of me. Here's me with my baby brother at 248 pounds. Here's me sitting on the Boston Common at about 248 pounds. And here's me finding smaller, wonderfuler, happier me. Thank you, God, for every day of this program that's with my family. The next thing I was going to read is to correspond how the tools help us work. The steps is just a paragraph from the introduction to the 12 steps. So the second paragraph says, in OA, we have no program of diets or exercise, no scales and no magic pills. What we do have to offer is far greater than any of these things. It's a fellowship in which we find and share the healing power of love. And our common bonds are two One, the disease of compulsive eating from which we all have suffered. And two, the solution that we all are finding as we live by the principles embodied in these steps. And since our program is Based on the 12 steps, this book offers here the study of these steps, sharing how we follow them to recover from compulsive eating. We hope in this way to provide help to those who still suffer from our disease. When I came into this program many years ago, the first thing I did was just come to a couple of meetings. And that's one of the tools. And from that meeting I found a sponsor who is still my sponsor more than 31 years later. And I don't think I've missed more than one day in 31 years. So do your math. 31 times 365. And sometimes we speak more than one time a day. So there's a tool for me. What she told me in the beginning was just look at the tools. She eased me into it because she had an idea that I certainly wasn't ready for. The steps the tools were my entry into this program and this simple pamphlet, every word of it is so helpful to me to get to the depth of the tools. And someone helped me to remember today what the 12 tools are in the 12 tools that we have from those nine 12 steps. From those nine tools to the 12 steps, steps one through three, is came to believe we came in here. I didn't know I was coming in here to believe in a higher power that would help me. And those three steps are what keep me here and keep me fully relying on God. And I am a frog fan and I just passed out a few little frogs and I have some more frogs for anybody who wants them. Fully rely on God. Those first three steps. The next steps, four through nine, are cleaning house. Those steps in simple terms, because I like I'm pragmatic things simply, those steps are for helping me to clean house, to become the person that my higher power wants me to be, to be able to help other sufferers, to be able to. That's the essence of this program, to do service, which is another tool that we'll get to. So by cleaning house, doing all the things that happen in those steps four to nine, then you get to maintenance. And that is steps 10, 11, and 12. And all of the tools help you do those things on a regular basis. I'll tell you now a little bit about me and what I do every single day. So at night I write down my food. So that's the tool of writing that I was just describing. And I write in a. In a myriad of ways, as my sponsor knows. Here's one of probably 50, at least 50 notebooks that I have that I've been writing in every single day for more than 31 years. And the tool of this, the notebooks look like this. The side at night is come to write a small action plan. And it even starts me in my writing to say, remember to wake up, rest, meditate and get ready. And I write those four things every day. Nobody has to do this. What's beautiful about this program is whatever works for you, work it. If you work it in your own way so that you can get your recovery, that's the main thing. But so many things that help me. I'll try to give you some hints of what works for me today. I write down my food every night. And then somebody else in my program told me, well, doing a tenth step at night. Well, I'm thinking, what is a tenth step? No matter how many times I read it, do I get it? So she helped me condense my tenth step to ignite to four letters. G, G, G and G, the four GS. So at night I write down my four GS. The first G. Gratitude. I'm writing, I'm doing a step. All of these things are. They just all blend in together, sort of like putting your recipe together. And it all just comes. It's hard to isolate all of this and say, this is the way, or this is the way. It's what's happening as it's organic. So, for example, I can read you this morning. What am I grateful for? The second G is good. The third G is called glitches. Like, what are my defects of the day? What did I do wrong, what do I have to make amends for? Because that's step 10 too, of course. And then G, the final G is your goal. How are you going to live the next day? What can you amend and try to do better the next day? So last night, before I was getting ready to come here, it was getting ready for today, Friday the 13th. And I wrote down I was grateful for my siblings, for my health, for my energy, for being in Boston, for my oa, for my sponsor, for my family, for my sons, for my grandchildren, for my car, that it would run well and drive here today from Boston, for God. I call my higher power God, for meetings for my sisters. And what good did I do yesterday? Well, I visited a friend and I gave her some business that I wanted to do. That was good. I was good to me yesterday. I, you know, I took care of my health, I took care of my body. I put, I packed. And so yesterday was really a day of dealing with me. And I was quiet and stayed out of a few things that would have been controversial. And I paused yesterday during a lot of things. Then my glitches. Well, I was full of hate and anger yesterday, and I didn't know what to do with it. And I wasn't handling it very well in that. I was just silent. So that's something that I was, you know, it came out. And then for my goal today, just live as best as I'm able, don't burden my sons with all of my problems, and just get here to this, to this wonderful convention, the other side. More writing. I write a letter to God, and that's what I do in the morning. So this is my nighttime stuff and part of my action plan. I wrote down, you know, 5:15am, get into the car, load my car, put in my makeup. I wrote, I love the tools. How am I doing for time? Oh, thank you. So I write a letter to God every morning. And someone had told me to even enhance that letter to God. Ask God a question while I'm writing. So I wrote to dear God this morning, please help me to have an abstinent day. Please guide me to do your will. The day is here. And dear God, what advice do you have for me? And then it sounds very pompous, but it really isn't. God writes back to me through my own hand. And God wrote back to me, dear Sheila, prepare for this day. Make a good OA day. Live in this moment. I'm with you, and you should take care of yourself. My granddaughter's name is Ella Ella's is good and all is okay. You're away from the tv, and that is right. For now, be of good faith. The world must do what it must do. The sun will still rise again tomorrow and you are okay. Carry on. Love, God. So that was. And I read it back and say, wow, how. I did not write that. I truly did not write that. Then at the bottom, I always write B, L and D. B is my breakfast. I wrote that last night. My breakfast, lunch and dinner. And I write that down. And then I tell my sponsor. So there's another tool that helps me live the steps. And I tell my sponsor what I'm going to eat. And if this changes, I let her know mostly the next day. I've been doing that for 31 and a half years. She taught me that. And she taught me to eat an abstinent food plan. And she told me that I ought to try yogurt. And I said to her, I'm sorry, but I don't eat yogurt. And she said to me, why don't you try it just this once? And I don't think in 31 years. I just love my yogurt now. I never thought I could do that. And she said, try it with a little sweetener. This. I am so happy with my food, and it gives me so much time to live in between. So my abstinence is so important for me because that when I have that abstinence, I am clear. I am clear. To live the 12 steps and, you know, work on cleaning house all the time and then getting to 10, 11 and 12, which is 10, is like cleaning house. Not from the big picture, which I had to do over the years, but on the daily picture, which makes it a lot easier to clean house. So that's pretty much of my writing, the literature. Every morning I read from two readers. And they are the. They're over there. It's the Daily Reader and what's the other one for today? And Voices of Recovery. So I read every morning that. And I write in the margin. And I filled up, you know, several of the books because the margins are so full. And after writing in the same book for probably 10 years, I had 10 years worth of margins. I was looking at sad stuff. I was looking at past. It was nice to see birthdays, and it was nice to see how much one of my grandchildren weighed. But I let it go. I got new books. I don't have to start reading all around the margin. This one did this, and Scott lost his job. And that one happened. So it's like that is the vestiges of the past because I don't have to look at it. So my literature is absolutely wonderful. I go to two literature meetings a week at least and read pamphlets. Just anything associated with that's OA approved. That's my reading. And I, you know, the people who write this literature, I, when I came into program that many years ago, I never thought anybody was going to write about fat and somebody who couldn't stop eating. And then I came here and I read that first bit of literature. It's like, oh my God, the secret's out. There are other people who are suffering as much as me. At £250, that loneliness slowly is gone. And my friend, over the years, my friends are in a way. And my honesty is with here because in meetings, which is our other, you know, another tool in meetings you can share what you need to share. We just talked about that in our meeting yesterday, that whatever you say stays here. You don't cross talk, you don't give advice. You want to talk to somebody after the meeting about whatever. But right there it's acceptance. And you can cry, you can do whatever it is you need to do within your allotted time. And meetings are just the most amazing thing that I discovered when I came into OA that I learned I could share. And so with that came honesty because I didn't have to lie anymore. I lied about my food, I lied wherever I was, I lied about my. I just was a big liar. And now it's like if there's a case of water under the thing and I'm out to the door, I'm back to make sure that, you know, I pay for that case of water. You forgot to charge me for this. So that's my grocery store honesty. And then, I mean, it's just, you know, if I say, you know, somebody says to me, what time did you get here? And it's like I really want to think about what time I got here. I want to say 4:15. I want to get to places on time. It's about just having the better character. And you know, I sound. But you know, I still screw up all the time. I make a mess, but at least I know how to make amends here in this program. I can say sorry real quick. It's just, you know, what else can I say? So it talked about plan of eating. I talked about sponsorship. I'm talking about meaning telephone. I speak to my sponsees every day. I have sponsees. I have a Sponsor and I have two additional sponsors. My sponsor and I co sponsor each other. Which has worked out well for you. She was with another sponsor, and then at that time, her sponsor left. And I thought, I love this woman so, so much. I hope that she won't leave because she doesn't have a sponsor. And so we said, how about if we co sponsor each other? And that was like 29 years ago. So I think it works. Writing, literature, action plan. So action plan is, you know, there's no tool that's called meditation. However, action plan is what I write in the morning. Like I said, wake up, rest, meditate. And I, you know, I'm the type of get it done, get it done, get it done. Oh, no, I want to read, have the coffee. I want to look at Facebook. I want to read Instagram. I want to do a lot of things in the morning. But until I do my quiet time, until I do my readings and my writings, I don't feel right. There's something missing. That little piece of my puzzle is missing if I skip it. And I got up at 5:15 this morning and, you know, I brought my books with me. And it wasn't until like 11:11 I saw it was 11:11 on the clock. And I said, oh, my grandson Micah told me you if you make a wish at 11:11, it comes true. So, and then it was just like a wish. And then it just led me right into that meditation. So I am just so grateful for this. And then anonymity, well, it goes without saying, because that's what anonymity is. We don't tell each other. We don't tell each other last names. If we bump into each other on the street, that's one kind of anonymity. What you say here stays here. That's it. Nobody knows how I know you if I bump into you somewhere. Also, nobody knows your story from me. I made a mistake of breaking someone's anonymity when I first came into program. And it is, you know, it's so good because it was such a teaching lesson for me. It was my principal. I teach school. And it was my principal asked me if this other principal was in my program, and I said yes. Oh, my God. She's probably never. She's never spoken to me again. I've apologized and it was 30 years ago, but it really, you know, that was probably supposed to happen because I would never do that again. And I know how that hurt. So there's that. And service. Well, I have an amazing role model who has taught me and showed me and inspired me what service does for someone's program. And I, you know, that has, you know, and when I hear from her children say something like, are you going to go here or something, it's like a tattoo on my forehead like, you're going to do this, you're going to do that. So I have watched that this program would not be here. We can't take it for granted because if this program is gone, I weigh 250 pounds in a matter of months. My life is horrible and I can't deal with life on life's terms. So I'm going to end it there. I think that I hope that I imparted something to you about the steps and about the traditions and about the tools and everything. So, Michelle, thank you. [00:20:38] Speaker B: Is it still recording? [00:20:42] Speaker A: Yes. [00:20:42] Speaker B: Okay. Hi, I'm Michelle. I'm a compulsive overeater and glad to be at this workshop. I've been in program for about five and a half years and abstinent about that long. About a month after I came in and maintaining an 85 pound weight loss. So my picture is going around. That was before program. That was when I was like, okay, I haven't seen my school friends for a long time. I'm gonna go back and meet them and I'm gonna show them like how much, how awesome my life is. I was like at my top weight and I was like, I can't keep up with anyone. This is not a place I want to be. And you know, it was that process of I was like searching for something and I had moved and I started looking online and I found convention speakers and that's how I found out about OA and you know, just relating to the feelings and so I can say the tool of meetings, the meeting that we're in right now, even being recorded and you know, to help someone else doing service. Totally. You know, I didn't know that food was my problem. I had all these other different problems in my life. But then I was like, oh, but I've always been a really good eater. And all of those can all be connected to the same thing. And basically the trajectory of my life. You know, all the things that I wanted for myself, but I didn't know how to get there. It seemed that OA had some sort of solution for me that I could see hope in other people and in those meetings. So, yeah, the first thing I did was order the literature and I got the brown book mailed to my house and I was starting to read it and I was like, oh, yeah, I'll maybe relate to one or two of these stories. And I kept reading, and I was like, I relate to that one and that one and that one and that one. And so I found the meeting list, and there was one, you know, 20 minutes from my house. And I decided it was, like, one Sunday night. I was like, well, not doing anything. Let me go try it before I change my mind. So I went to that meeting, and they were reading the Big Book. And I was like, but I have this one that says overeating on it is not the right one. But that was really great. I also identified with, you know, what they're reading in the Big Book. So I've always been a big fan of literature. And the first thing they did at the meeting, which I like to do with newcomers now, is to make sure they have the Newcomer pamphlet with some more literature. And so it's. Yeah, the Newcomer pamphlet. I'm taking phone numbers. I started to play a little game with myself at one point, because I did not like to use the phone at all. I wouldn't answer the phone for my family members or my best friends. I was not gonna use the phone. But it's funny how all these tools kind of just overlap. But I just kept going to the meetings, and somebody followed me out one night and was like, let me keep talking to you. Do you need a sponsor? Do you want a temporary sponsor? And I was like, okay, I could do that. And we, you know, started having a daily phone call. And I was like, what am I going to talk about on the phone? But we started reading, like, the Daily Readers and just being on the phone. So I eventually started some game that was like, okay, I'm going to take all the numbers off the list in the meeting just so I have them. I don't know if I'm going to call them yet, but just like, there used to be snacks in the middle of the table. I was like, I'll take some phone numbers, and maybe later on I can call. And so, yeah, we started reading, and I had those pamphlets. I read the definition of abstinence, the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. That was written in the literature. So I just wrote down what I was binging on at the time. And I wrote down some of the behaviors that made me feel not good. Like, eating in my bed made me feel not good. Eating off of serving dishes. Like, really big serving dishes or cooking Cookware, I didn't like that. So I wrote that on a list. And I had a food that I was allergic to, but I would always try to eat it anyway to see how much I could try to eat. And so I was like, I'll put that one on the list. And so those kind of became that for me. I had watched some other people use some nutrition advice, and so I kind of picked up on that. It was really hard. I definitely needed a sponsor to bounce that idea off of and hear what she was doing. I wanted to share the variety of, like, how the food plan works. And it was really helpful to hear. My sponsor had, like, I think it was no sugar, no flour. And I was like, that's very extreme. Those are two big groups of food. But I can take a baby step of my foods, even if those aren't mine, because I see how dedicated someone else can be. So just her sharing her food plan with me gave me courage to start taking more steps. So my also growing up, my food plan, I guess was, do I feel good? No, I don't feel good. I must not have eaten today. And later, an hour later, do I feel good? No, I must not have eaten yet. And I just keep eating, and I'd forget what I had eaten. So having this food plan and my sponsor asked me. So we were doing the daily reading, and we. We talk about it on the phone, and then we kind of like. She's like, okay, well, write on it and send me your writing and send me your food plan if you want what you're gonna eat for the day. So to me, they go together because it's not just a diet. It's also this, like, spiritual program. So I always send those. I text them to my sponsor in the morning for variety. She waits until the end of the day, and she knows what she ate, and she calls a food sponsor and tells her what she ate. I have another friend, annoyed friend, who texts me at night because she plans for the next day, the night before, and just kind of gives a general idea or travels a lot and is like, I'll probably be at this restaurant, so that's probably the cuisine I'll be having. And I know I've been to that restaurant before. I know what I tend to get there. And then I have another friend. Yeah. Who also sends, like, texts at night or even sometimes can plan out the week and that gets into action. Plan of like, okay, I'm starting to think about what I'm going to do before I get there. Because when I'M hungry and standing in front of the food. It all looks good. But when I have a plan at the beginning of the day and I sent it in, I was like, okay, I should probably just keep it simple and stick to that plan. So that really helped with the weight and with the abstinence and to just keep coming back. And I definitely needed, you know, work toward those coins. 30 days, 60 days, 90 day coins. Like, I wanted those and. But I started right, so those are amazing. Those will. That was really helpful. See, when I want to read this, I'll just read this quick. This is from Voices of Recovery, September 24. It says, Find a sponsor who has what you want and ask how that person, how they are achieving it. From the Tools of Recovery, page four. It worked for my sponsor. Am I willing to do the same? How badly do I want to recover? I was willing to go to any lengths to practice my disease. Today. I need to do the same to achieve and maintain recovery. The tools are there to help me. Do I use them all. I am willing to follow a plan of eating. And with God's help, I can. I can go to meetings to hear how other compulsive overeaters have dealt with the challenges of life without eating over them. I hear at meetings that eating over an issue doesn't solve the original problem. It adds a second problem as well. My sponsor suggests that if I'm having a problem, I contact another OA member and ask, how are you doing? This does help me. It is not important to analyze why or how our program works. I need to take the actions that worked for my sponsor and others and keep on coming back. So I like that, too. So it kind of goes into using the phone or even doing service. [00:30:04] Speaker C: Again. [00:30:04] Speaker B: With newcomers coming to new meetings. I found out like, okay, I'll, you know, share my story for a couple minutes. And it takes about half an hour to, like, meet somebody. I've also at work a couple times, I've called somebody, like, cold calling who didn't know me, but I'm the support staff. So I was calling to respond to their message and they were like, who are you? I don't think I need to talk to you right now. So I've seen a lot more people saying, text me first and then I'll know who you are. And that's really helpful to be like, oh, yeah, I saw you at this meeting on this day. And then, you know, have about a half an hour to share and really listen. That's also what I like more lately. And What I'm learning about being a sponsor is that, you know, each one of these tools can be totally customized to how that person wants to interact or what their experience was with the disease and, you know, different things to suggest. So what else? So how this helps me work the steps. I definitely use writing at night. I do my 10th step writing using one of the formats from the Green Workbook. Thank you. And it has gratitudes, things I like about me, and then basically kind of like an outline from. Was I resentful, selfish, dishonest, afraid, jealous, restless, irritable, discontent? Was there an amends I need to make? Was I kind? What did I do for others? What did I do well? And what could I do better? So I like write that on a like three subject notebook. That was what I used in school. So I was like, I'll just get those same notebooks. I got lots of room to write. And I do that and send a picture to my sponsor, who also sends hers. My sponsor's other sponsee also does the same thing because we are suggested to do the same thing. So we send each other our writing. And it helps me remember too when I'm like, oh, I really. I'm in a hurry, I don't want to stop and do that. How much it means to me to read their writing. Like at lunchtime when I'm, you know, just have a minute. But I want to like recenter and I read what they have written. So writing together like that really helps me. So that's a 10 step at night then the 11th step I tend to do in the morning when I read and write an action plan for the day, which is right, like thinking about who am I going to interact with today? What do I have going on? I say the on awakening, which is also from the literature. And it's like my creator showed me the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness, and love. And what can I do today for the man who is still sick? That's also like the tools are kind of these little checklists. And then on my tenth step at night on the what did I do well line, I like write down which tools I used to see if on the days where I do a lot of them, I feel really good. On the days when I have a couple, I'm like, oh, that's why I don't feel good today. And so the action plan is more like what I'm gonna do during the day or can also be used to kind of go along with the seventh step to ask God for what I Need in order to do that. Some examples sometimes with family events, like old habits of not being grateful, old habits of it's a burden to give someone a gift for celebration. And now it's like, oh, wait, it's for celebration. What can I bring to this party that may have food? I plan my food, my meals. How can I connect with them? I had a little bit of extra time today. I actually had a lot of time before the convention, and I was able to stop and see my sister, which was really good. She's at a new place, and she was very happy to give me the tour, and that was awesome. She worked really hard to get there so that, you know, had some time in the day that I could try to plan that in. And I always ask for the gift of humility because my pride and ego likes to appear a lot. And I always need the gift of humility. I like that it's a gift and I can ask for that. And there's been moments too, where even the resentment prayers or something like that, I'll, you know, be like, okay, well, I have this meeting with my manager. [00:35:09] Speaker D: Okay. [00:35:09] Speaker B: What I really want to ask is, can you just support me in everything I do and validate all of my decisions and take, take this project away? Because I don't want to work on that one. You know, silly things, but also like. And then the things I'm like, well, which ones do I actually want to ask for? There's been times where I get to that work and one of them will happen. One of the goofy things that I asked for will happen. And it's like, that's amazing. So that's like an 11th step to 7th step, 11 step to talk to God about how to live in my day. And so step 12 then would be service. What can I do today for the man who is still sick? So today was good. I can speak at the convention. So I get to really enjoy and speak. There's other days where I'll chair a meeting. I'm like, okay, I know I'm going to chair a meeting tonight. I know I'm going to talk to a sponsee tonight. And thank you. And side note about sponsees, it's okay to do something different than what I did. My sponsor needed was trying to break the habit of night eating. And so we scheduled our phone calls at night, which really helped her, really helped me to practice opening up and talking to other people. Another sponsor I have likes to think more about the writing or discuss it more. Just have a really good Conversation about it. And so we have. We meet twice a week for a longer amount of time. So I'm just so grateful that there's like, different styles of how to do that and then lots of other service. Like my sponsor has started telling me, like, oh, there's this service stuff you can do. There's intergroup, there's stuff above the group level. There's these different committees you can be on. Come with me. I'll go with you to Intergroup. And so I went with her. And the first one of the first couple ones, they were like, okay, we need new officers. Be a secretary. Okay, So I did that. And really every. It's almost like it's like the fourth step or the ninth step doing service, learning those skills, skills that I didn't want to do for myself, but I'm willing to do to help someone else. You know, sending thank you notes to people who give contributions to Intergroup. You know, I was using the literature, like, the seventh tradition signifies our emotional development or something like that. It's part of tradition seven. And so I'm like, I'll write that in there. And it really feels. I feel connected to the fellowship as a whole, like how we all carry it on and everything we write. So I was like, oh, I have this really good fellowship feeling. I'm also learning how to use stamps, like these skills I need to learn how to do. And then what else did I do? Yeah, being a treasurer, interacting with other people on that, chairing a meeting, being able to speak in front of other people, which I couldn't do before. And then I've been to Regent a couple times, which is cool. And it's. I'm amazed too. I've been to World Service and to see how the regions overlap, different countries. And so you're really working with people from a different lifestyle that we all still connect over on the program, which just gives this wonderful feeling. There's been. Before coming to oa, I had a moment where I was moving to a new place and I didn't know anybody in the new town. And I was like, well, I have an afternoon. I'm like, waiting for the job interview process to happen. Like, what do I do? And I was like, I just feel adrift. Like, I'm gonna go to the fast food place. That's where I'm gonna go. And I didn't know what to do. So, you know, hearing about people from other meetings and just almost like having that anonymity to be like, I can. I have friends in any place. There is a meeting. Anybody I can call will be my friend for that day. And I can bookend certain hard things and I can just check in on them when I'm like, I am so sick of all these thoughts running in my head. I may just talk to somebody else. Yeah. So that gives me a feeling of connectedness wherever I go. Thank you. So did I hit them all? Plan a meeting, sponsorship meetings, telephone, writing, literature, action plan, anonymity and service action plan. I also try to fit in some sort of physical exercise. I didn't know you could do exercise without trying to lose weight. I thought the purpose of exercise was to lose weight. So I'm actually finding things that I really enjoy like dancing and yoga and muscle weight lifting. Just a hand weights kind of class I took for a long time, which was with other people, which was really good. And now I'm getting into running, so gotta get some new shoes. But thanks for letting me share. And yeah, the tools helped me work the steps. This workshop will end at 6pm and for the rest of the time we'll hear three minute pitches from the floor. The timer will signal you when you have one minute left. If you would like to share, please come to the front of the room. We remind you that this session is being recorded and your sharing demonstrates your consent to be recorded. If you wish to remain anonymous, please use a fictitious name or choose not to share. Please say where you are from and how long you've been in oa, but devote your share to your OA experience on the topic, which is how we use the tools to work the steps. And the meeting's open for sharing. Come on up. [00:42:13] Speaker A: I'd like to hear a share. Anybody ready? [00:42:25] Speaker C: Okay, great. Hi, I'm Bobby, a food addict from Massachusetts and I. First of all, I just. Thank you. First of all, I want to just say that it is so wonderful after four years of not being able to be in a lot like with my peeps to sit here and see all of you. That's the greatest gift like I can imagine. All right, how do I work the tools in my. All right, so I. I do work my tools. [00:42:56] Speaker A: I don't. [00:42:57] Speaker C: Some days I do my phone telephone religiously, other times I don't. So I'm not going to stand up here and tell you I'm the poster child for working as tools. I am not. I've been in program 23 years. I'm maintaining 130 pound weight loss and so I have worked the tool. So let's see. Telephone. Like I said, sometimes I call my sponsor now twice a week. And I do call people. I do a lot of texting. I would say I do more texting now than I do phone calls. And I am one of those people. I love to hear from people. But I will not pick up the phone if I don't recognize your number. So that's just me. There's too many weirdos out there now scamming. And so what do I do religiously? Religiously, I do my literature. Every single morning I get up and I read. I read a 24 hour book that's. It's not OA approved, but I read a 24 hour book and I read a couple of those kind of things for today. Every once in a while I'll read, but I do the other. I sit there and I meditate. I take quiet time. I do my first three steps. I can't. You can. I'm gonna let you. I do my third step prayer every single day. I do my seven step prayer every single day. And I talk to my higher power every single day to and fro, work or whatever. I take time, quiet time. I'm somebody who. I'm quite gregarious. Anybody that knows me, I'm a quite a chatterbox. But I've learned to be quiet. Believe it or not, those of you that know me, I do. I go to meetings, I do all those kind of things. But my big one that I do, the big one I do a lot is service. You know, a long time ago there was a group, there was something used to say, service is slimming. I don't know about that. But I'll tell you, service is keeping me in program. I do a lot of service. I have right now. 1, 2, 3. I think I have three sponsees now in this program. Three sponsees in this program. I have. I can take somebody else if I needed to. I am now the chair for my Mass Bay intergroup. I got kind of suckered. I mean I. I shouldn't say suckered. [00:45:22] Speaker A: It. [00:45:22] Speaker C: I wanted to do it. I speak when people ask me to speak. I've just completed the big book step study process. So I am ready to sponsor a young woman through that. I'm looking forward to that. All right, I gotta go. So my time is up. So thank you. [00:45:49] Speaker E: Hi everybody. I'm Leslie Compulsive overeater. Hi. I'm in program 19 years and so grateful to be here. Thank you so much for both of you and your shares. It was great to hear. I loved hearing about your writing Exercise, your diary, your you're sharing with your co sponsor. And I loved hearing about doing an evening chat with a sponsi to change things up a bit because nighttime eating tends to be one of the bigger challenges for me. It used to be, I'm grateful to say one day at a time. And I also loved what you said about, you know, instead of snacks in front of you, you had phone numbers. And it was very challenging for me when I first came into program to make phone calls. If you told me then that I was going to come up here today and address the group there, it would have been like you're talking about a completely different person. So there's so many things that the tools have given me in my recovery and being able to speak somewhat comfortably and put myself out there and feel like there's something that I have to say that somebody's going to be interested in hearing. You know, I got that built up from the time that I've spent in these rooms and I'm very grateful for that. [00:47:44] Speaker A: So thank you. [00:48:00] Speaker F: Hi everyone, I'm Michael. I'm a food addict. Glad to be here. I can relate to what I heard about service. It is for me, it's what keeps me in the middle, you know, a lot and a little or judgment. So I don't want to say I do a lot or a little, but I have three service commitments. One here this weekend and meetings all the time. And they're mostly administrative. But we start every time with the Serenity Prayer, we end every time with the Serenity Prayer. And I find that people involved in service are more or less committed, more committed to their programs than people who don't. I shouldn't say that. I don't really know everybody who doesn't, but I can say that I meet a lot of people who are. [00:49:06] Speaker A: Really. [00:49:07] Speaker F: Interested not only in helping themselves but ensuring that the fellowship will be here. And I've always done that because if the fellowship, if I don't help do my part to make sure the fellowship is healthy, it might not be here for me. And you know, I can relate to what somebody else said. I'm maintaining 160 pound loss for more than 30 years and I had lost hundreds of pounds, that's not an exaggeration in the years before I came into program. And of course I gained it all back every time I lost it, I lost big chunks, more than 130 twice before I came in. And the only time I've kept it off is in the rooms. So, you know, I'm coming around 130 years and I'm still here. I mean, it's still green for me. I need this. I have 30 years. Thank you. I have the other 30 years before I came in for evidence of what happens when I try to do it myself. And it's ugly. So I know that, you know, we talk about the seventh tradition being self supporting. Well, yeah, we got to give the money, but we have to support the fellowship in other ways. And as I said, sometimes I'm the type who sometimes wouldn't do something for myself, but I'd do it for you. And that's the paradox of service, right? I'm doing it for someone else. And so I can feel good about it. Whereas maybe some of the other things that I could be doing just for my Soliton program, you know, well, okay, fine, I'll do that later. But when I know somebody else is depending on me, it gets me there. And I need that to keep my program supple. Thanks a lot. [00:51:02] Speaker A: We still have time for a couple more shares. [00:51:15] Speaker G: Hi, I'm Charlene, compulsive eater and relapse survivor. Hi. I've been around the rooms a long time, too. I came to my first OA meeting in 1980. So I've grown older. I won't say old, I'll say I grew older in this program. Not for lack of a better word, wiser. Except I have become, I don't know, it's probably the same word, smarter by learning in these rooms. This has been such an education for me of how to live my life. And the tools were the beginning of when I learned how to survive in a body that wanted nothing but food, you know, And I was very successful at dieting, but it never kept off, you know, the weight. Whatever I lost, I gained back, plus some. And my first year in program, I lost quite a bit of weight. And it was only a couple of years later that I had it all back on. Almost doubled my weight loss back. So it wasn't until I started really getting serious about learning about these wonderful tools and all the different literature that we have today. When I first came in, they were just writing the 12 steps, you know, getting ready to publish that. And today we have such an array of wonderful, wonderful literature. And I too read from a couple of the program daily readers every morning and a couple of other daily readers that are not programmed. I'm not compulsive about reading, but I just love them and I've been doing them for years. And I think the tool that I have the hardest time with is writing on a consistent basis. You know, I do write frequently, but not on a daily basis. And the one tool that has, as it's been said, it hasn't kept me abstinent, but it sure has kept me connected in these rooms because I was brought up that if you make a commitment to do something, you do it. You don't back out unless it's extenuating circumstances. So I've learned in this room, if I make a commitment to do a service, I step up and I do it. I may not want to do it, but I get there. And I had to chuckle when someone spoke about going to intergroup. And that was what I heard from someone in one of my meetings that, you know, oh, just come along and see what it's about. We have so much fun. And, you know, and I went. And it's been almost 25 years that I've been going to my intergroup now. And that's a blessing, you know, And I've done the service above the group level. I've helped with conventions, you know, and I've attended many conventions. And that's the service I give to myself. So I'm grateful to be here. And thank you to the leaders. [00:54:28] Speaker H: Hi, I'm Emily. I'm a compulsive overeater. I'm from Massachusetts, and I've been in OA since 2016. I think I use most of the tools regularly. There are a couple that I'm just kind of like, well, I don't see the purpose of it, but that's just me. I'm rebellious. But the one thing that I've always said is that I think they should add another tool, and that's higher power. Because without my higher power, I can't do anything. I never could and I never will. And I have to remind myself of that every morning and many times during the day that I need my higher power. And fortunately, my higher power is one that I can talk to no matter where I am, whether I'm in a group of people, whether I'm having a good day, a bad day, or anything in between. So I love all the tools. I use as many as I can on a regular basis. And I say, let's add one more for the higher power. Thank you. [00:55:50] Speaker D: Hi, I'm Barb. I'm from upstate New York, also overeater. Hi, everybody. This is my first convention, and so I'm sitting over there in the front row, and my higher power is telling me, go on, get up, get up. I'll be right there with you. I'm right there with you. And so the tools. First, thank you both for your. [00:56:14] Speaker B: For your shares. [00:56:15] Speaker D: They've been so inspiring. And I recognize myself in so many of the things that you said and gives me ideas as well. So very, very grateful. I start out each morning, or I'll just say the first time. I went to my very first meeting where there were two people there and the person, they both said, you know, we're glad you came. Please keep coming back. You know, there are things you can buy if you want to, or pamphlets are free and that kind of thing. And so I picked up the For Today book and because I. During that meeting, I had heard the term just for today. And I said, this would be nice. You know, just each day read something that's something manageable, that's something I can do. And I. Every single day since then, that was in 2016. I've been reading that every morning. And then it's grown. I have the other book and the Voices of Recovery. And then I do some writing. The writing has started maybe just about a year ago. So before that I had trouble writing it. And my fear with the writing was that somebody else would read it. So when I did do the writing, I would do the writing and then I would have a little ceremony at the recycling bin and tear it up. And then, you know, so that's. That's the way I kind of got into the writing. But now I don't have that fear anymore. I don't even. I even had a fear of going back and reading what I had written a few days ago. Where that comes from, I don't know, but it really helps. There was one day recently that I was upset about something, and I can't even remember. Thank you. What that was. I said, I really have to write because otherwise I'm going to go to the kitchen. And so I went to. Got my notebook out. The very first sentence. It wasn't what I wrote. It was the fact that I was actually writing. I could feel the anxiety leaving my body. And so that has really cemented that tool for me. And service is just wonderful. I'm the very. From opening up the place to sending out chairs, to, you know, helping to clean up afterwards, to doing intergroup. I've done a few of these and a few of that. And so I just think it really does help me to keep coming back. So thanks very much. [00:58:54] Speaker B: Okay. We wanted to do one more thing. I'll read the steps. Since we brought. Since we mentioned them the 12 Steps of Overeaters Anonymous 1. We admitted we were powerless over food, that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. [00:59:18] Speaker D: 4. [00:59:18] Speaker B: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. [00:59:35] Speaker A: 8. [00:59:35] Speaker B: Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to compulsive overeaters and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Okay, so thank you everyone for sharing. That's all the time we have. Thanks for attending the workshop and we'll close with the Serenity Prayer. God grant me to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Keep coming back.