2023 I’m New Now What?

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Breathe. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen. The topic of this workshop is. I'm new where do. What's the topic now? What? Thank you. My name is Michelle. I'm a compulsive eater. I'm seated with a net like what fishermen use. We are the co leaders for this meeting. Welcome. Each of us will have up to 20 minutes to speak and then we'll open the room for shares. Up to three minutes. Is there someone who would be comfortable willing to be timekeeper for this hour? Otherwise we can do it for each other I think. Oh no we can't because we don't have a timer. That would be great. Oh Ann, welcome. [00:01:05] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:01:06] Speaker A: Here's the timer book. Yes ma'am. [00:01:08] Speaker C: Just tell me what else I have. [00:01:10] Speaker A: Good morning. You have to turn on your phone. We already said the serenity prayer. [00:01:14] Speaker D: Okay. [00:01:15] Speaker A: And it's 20 minutes each and then I think that book has what the reminders are. Okay. Ready? Ann, are you ready? This session is being recorded by the way. Okay. So first I'm going to share and then Annette's going to share and then we're going to open for you to share if you want. Ready? Okay. You started it. Okay. So I'm Michelle. I'm a compulsive eater. Good to see you all. Welcome, welcome. So I've been in OA since 2010, February 2010. And I don't even know if you are newcomers but I'm going to speak to you as if you are because I think that's what this meeting is kind of about and we all can learn from that. Anyway, I would love to listen to someone talk about being new. When I came In I was 284 pounds. I'm down maintaining about 110 pound weight loss which is really miraculous given what my life had been like weight wise until I came in. Which is to say that I was fat my whole life really. I mean people, you hear a lot of people when we share say, you know, when I look at old pictures I really wasn't fat. Even though I felt fat. I'm not sure. I guess I think I ate a lot. I think my whole life I ate a lot. I think my parents kind of hassled me a lot about how much I ate and I don't think I was that fat because like I was active. I wasn't that active but I was like a kid, you know. So when I look at pictures like maybe I was like a little meaty, but I wasn't like an obese kid. But my parents were concerned and I think they had reason to be concerned about the amount that I was eating and maybe the way I was eating. Of course, I didn't understand that as a little kid. One of the things as newcomers that we hear is that there's a format for our shares where, and it's true in our literature too, where you hear what it was like before the solution or OA or recovery, what it was like before what happened that was like the turning point in the game that brought us in. And then what it's like now, which is in recovery. So you hear that in a lot of shares and you hear if you read a big book story, it's the same thing. What it was like before, what happened and what it's like now. And we always want to balance the what it was like, which is like the horror or the pain or the misery of being in this addiction. And the solution, which is the hope that I don't have to live like that anymore. And I don't know why I'm getting emotional right now, but. So I'm going to talk a little bit about what it was like before, but I really want to talk to you about what the possibility is of what it can be like in recovery. And I want to say that I felt horrible about myself. I felt horrible about my body. I felt judged by everyone. I felt like if I walked into a room, everyone was just thinking about how fat I was. And it made me feel like defective and it made me feel kind of like I didn't have a right to take up space on the planet. And I, you know, any words I say, like, I don't know what you hear of what I say. And I like, I hope that you get something from what I'm saying or that you relate to it or that gives you something to connect to in this program. But so that's what I felt. I felt that about my body. And it turns out that self consciousness, that feeling of like I'm walking into a room and everyone's looking at me because of how fat I am. Some of that self consciousness I haven't lost yet because I don't really think that anyone's looking at me because I'm fat anymore. Not that I don't feel fat sometimes. Like the feeling inside of fat really has nothing to do with what the outside looks like. I don't know what you see when you look at me. My sponsor recently said to me, I saw her in person and she. At the end of our time together, she said, if you're not a healthy body weight, I don't know what so. And that was like, wow, what. You know, because that's what we're looking for, a healthy body weight. And I know I'm at a healthy body weight in the sense that I exercise, my body's strong, my doctors have no concern. My blood work is good, you know, but there's still something of, like, the number on the chart is about 13 pounds lower than what I am now. You know, the goal, Whatever, whatever. So what I'm praying for today, and I know I'm off track of the. What it was like, what it's like now, but a little bit, but. But what I'm praying for now instead of every. I weigh myself every week now. During most of my time in program, I weighed myself once a month. Parting with the scale in that way was a challenge. Just like parting with some foods was a challenge. Actually, parting with each food I parted from was a challenge. Thank you. She's holding up signs about the time, so I'm going to say thank you. So she knows I saw. Even though I promise that at the end of the 20 minutes, I'm going to be in the middle of a sentence and I'm just going to stop because I'm using my time. I don't want to use anyone else's time. I don't want to take time from anyone else. And I really feel like the boundaries of that are important. So it will be annoying to all of us when I stop in the middle, but I will. It always happens. There's always more to say. So. Oh, no. Okay. So does anyone remember the list? Thank you. Yeah. So I. So I have been. So every month when I got on the scale, and then I changed to every week when my weight stabilized, of course, with consultation with my sponsor. Comfortable consultation, like, not punitive, not pressuring. Comfortable engagement with my sponsor, because I really want to be clean and recover. And the weight fluctuations every month were making me feel like, oh, my gosh, I gained two pounds or I gained three pounds or I lost one pound. And she's like, I think at this point, because your weight is kind of stable. It's not kind of stable. It's ridiculously, miraculously stable. You might want to get on every week because of the fluctuations in the month for people or women like, you might be thinking you gained weight. And actually it's just the normal fluctuation in a month. So I started doing it every week. But what I'm saying is I would get on the scale every week and I would be praying to God, like, please help me accept what it says no matter what, because whether it's up or down or 1 pound or 3 pounds or 0 pounds, I was really fixated. Like, the scale was my higher power in a way, which I'll explain in a minute. And really my prayer was, please help me lose more weight and please help me, like, so if it's down two pounds, it's like, oh, it's on the way, but it's not on the way because it's stable. So it's going to be down two pounds and next month it's going to be up a pound. You can hear the obsession. You can hear, like. So at some point I was talking to my sponsor and I was like, oh, I need to pray for acceptance of this, rather than, like, trying to move the needle. Like, me being in charge of moving the needle. That's not working. It's frustrating and it's becoming, like, too important. And it's really not what's important, given how my life is going as a whole. It's like getting lost in the details. And the big picture is my weight is stable, my food is peaceful, and God, please help me accept my weight and actually be incredibly grateful that I've lost 110 pounds and what I eat is so stable that I'll have a day when I feel like, oh, my gosh, I ate a lot, but I look at my food, it's the same thing as every day. Or I have a day when I'm like, I'm really hungry, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I didn't eat enough. And I look at my food, it's the same thing I eat every day. It's crazy. So interesting now, anyway, so the misery before and trying many diets. I'm not one of those people who could diet and lose weight. I lost like £80 a couple of times, twice. I never got down to what I weigh now, which is like 173, 174. And I, you know, and I just was not one of those people who could do that. So I walked in here having done, like, really conventional diets, not crazy things like shots and balls behind the ears and only drinking milk or only. I didn't do those. I did, like, traditional regular diets. And at some point I was going to meetings of that diet, and I realized I don't know, I don't think it just came to me. I think there must have been details along the way that were pointing me in this direction. I realized I wasn't able to stick to those diets more than like 55% of the time or something. Whatever percentage of the time I was sticking to them. It wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. And I guess I started Googling stuff. Binge eating disorder. I didn't meet criteria for that. I don't mean to roll my eyes. I didn't meet criteria for that. But I knew I had a problem and it wasn't Googleable that way. And I was speaking with a friend who said, why don't you try oa? And it's funny, she had said something to me about OA in the past that I heard as a negative thing about oa. And I said, I thought you didn't like oa. She was like, are you kidding? I love oa. She said, maybe go to. Go on a phone meeting, just, like, listen to what it sounds like. Because she knew. She's brilliant. Brilliant, 12 stepper. And I'm sure in retrospect, the thing I heard as negative about Away was her trying not to push me to come and have me not feel pressure. So she wanted to kind of like, push the gas and the brakes kind of. And I heard it as negative, which is interesting, but it doesn't matter because it came up again. And then I got on phone meetings. This was of course, before Zoom, or if there were. I think there were virtual meetings, but I never did them. So I started listening and getting curious because it was such a language. The language. You know, there's so many things that I. I was so, so curious. I was very interested, but I really didn't know what I didn't know. I didn't know what I didn't understand. But I. And I wasn't a person who walked in and felt like, oh, I'm home. I didn't even realize that I have this syndrome that other people have, too. And there's a solution for it here. I. That is true. I have a syndrome that other people have here that most people have. It's the same syndrome, and it's a whole cluster of things. It's the food, it's the thinking. I need to control everything and fix everything and be in charge of everything. It's feeling guilty for all the things that happened that I should have done differently. It's thinking. And this is like an interesting. I was thinking on the way this morning When I was getting dressed, I was thinking maybe the biggest change for me is the concept of I am not at the center of the universe. I know this sounds drastic, but every time I'm upset, it's me thinking everything is supposed to go the way I want it to go. So if I'm upset with my partner and he's not doing what I wish he would do, that's me thinking that somehow he's supposed to do exactly what I need at every moment. And at this point, I know that's so ridiculous, but that, I think, is how most. I don't know, a lot of people live like that. Walking around upset about all the things that are the way we wish they were not. The other thing about that is that it's literally impossible to be happy all the time. Literally impossible. I mean, literally the entire world would have to be revolving around you for you to feel satisfied at every moment. It's just a crazy. It's. The grass is always greener. It's also that it's like, whatever. I don't know if you guys have heard this. Like, OA helps me want what I have rather than have what I want. So it's gratitude and acceptance. And if anyone would have told me that has anything to do with food, I never would have believed that. I. It took me so long to let this. Like. You know how they say, like, if water is dripping on a rock and the rock starts to erode and develop, like a little indentation from the gentle water dripping on the rock? And that's what this program has been like for me. It's like, there's a lot to learn. I don't really have to understand it. Although it's fun to understand things. I just have to keep. Oh, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. That's okay. That's fine. Six minutes left. Yes. Okay. So I want to say something about how I worked program, but I did it with the guidance of sponsors. When I first came in, it took me a little while to get a sponsor because we say, find someone who has what you want. Even that was hard for me because I didn't want anything anyone had. Like, I didn't even know what that meant because to me, it was like, I'm going to find a perfect person and I'm going to ask them to be my sponsor. And one of the beauties of this program is that the concept of perfection is a fantasy. It's maybe the opposite. It's like a negative fantasy. It's like A horrible fantasy that has us always comparing with something impossible. And it's kind of disgusting how pervasive perfection is as a concept. So that I only have come to understand that over time that I was looking for something perfect, and then I wanted that person to turn me perfect. Turns out we're all kind of perfectly human, perfectly regular. I don't know if any of you were at the talent show last night. It's like, in a way, we can just be human. And I don't. I shouldn't even use the word. [00:17:12] Speaker E: Just. [00:17:12] Speaker A: We can fully be human and everything that means, all the beautiful things that means. So I worked the steps through the workbook. There's an OA 12 and 12 workbook so I would read. So my first sponsor had me read step one in the OA 12 and 12, step one in the AA 12 and 12. Underline, discuss and do the questions in the workbook. Share them with her, go on to the next step through the steps. In the beginning, I, like, did all the questions on step one. I read the step one in those two chapters, and then I was like, okay, I'm going to go to step two. And she's like, not so fast, not so fast. And I was like, but I'm, you know, I finished the questions, you know, and it's like so much of this is about, like, slowing down, slowing down, slowing life down. I live a much better life when I'm not, like, all the pressure. The pressure is never helpful. I can't even think when there's pressure. It's like, I need to slow everything down. So she didn't exactly say that to me, but she had a few more questions. And really the question was, have I admitted I'm powerless over food? And do I see that my life is unmanageable? And there's so much more to say, but I'm going to do this. Unmanageability is a feeling that recovery helps quell unmanageability. So a day, a very busy, hectic day can feel unmanageable, or that same day can feel palatable or something like that. Not controllable, but it can feel like a day, A day, busy day. So have I admitted, though, you know, and I'm powerless over way more things than the food, and I don't mean more substances. I'm powerless over what people do. I'm powerless over half the things I do that I don't want to do. So step one, step two, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. That Was a learning process for me. I didn't understand what that even meant. Came. I don't know if you've heard this. Came. Came to. Came to believe. I love that. Came. Walked in the door, Came to. Started to wake up. Came to believe that a power greater. Is there a power greater than me? That's one of the best steps. It's like, I don't have to know what God is. I don't have to call it God. I don't even. Right now, we could have a whole workshop on, like, thinking about what God means to us. It would be beautiful. I was just saying to someone last night, like, for me, accepting reality is part of God. It's like whatever is. Is like we're all sitting here right now. That is. There's no changing that. That's reality. And accepting reality. That's a piece of God for me. That's a piece of what is bigger than me is reality, for sure. And then the awareness that there's, like, a voice inside me that I can listen to that takes me in the right direction if I listen to it. Sometimes I listen to it and sometimes I don't. That's God, too. And I also noticed recently that I'm having a hard time believing that, like, thank you. The world is, like, moving in the right direction. Because that would be like some. Some of my teaching about what God is, is like God is like watching out for all of us in a way. And I don't know about that part, but I will say that. I mean, I'm just going to say what I do in the last minute. I go to three meetings a week. I talk to my sponsor every week for an hour. I have sponsors. I speak to some of them every day. I speak to some of them two or three times a week. We do writing stuff. I don't do as much writing. I did go through the big book also. I know I'm, like, cramming a lot in now. This. The tools are good as ways of working the steps. The tools don't stand on their own, but the tools are like indicators of am I applying the steps in my life. So I have a lot more peace now. I'm able to live a life with a lot less unmanageability around the food and around people and relationships and expectations. Have you heard? Expectations are premeditated resentment because that's not accepting reality, you know? So I'm going to stop. I'm happy to talk and also listen to anyone. And I'm going to welcome Annette. Thank you, Michelle. Thank you. [00:22:19] Speaker E: Yes, thank you, Michelle. Let's see before I start after. Okay, great. So I'm Annette and I'm from the Nassau Intergroup on Long Island, New York. I'm a compulsive person. And so for me, I knew what's next. I think that's a great place to be, is to be new and to be starting for me. I was eating when I wasn't hungry. I was eating. Even when I felt sick of eating, I was still eating like it made no sense. But I just kept eating. I was eating out of guilt. I would feel guilty about that fact that I ate. So I would eat more and I would project that onto oa. I would come home from a meeting and start eating and say, oh, they're making me feel guilty for eating. So we'd eat more. But it was the weirdest thing. It wasn't always fault, but I would think it was always fault. Those people are making me feel guilty that I'm eating this sweet thing. I could eat this sweet thing. I could handle it. And then it would roll and spiral like a snowball down a hill and I come crawling back. And I couldn't figure it out. I was on high blood pressure medication. I was over £250. My family members would say, I made this just for you. And I would fall into that trap. And right now I don't. They respect me. Now they know I will not eat what they made and they don't even offer it. It's amazing. I'm getting such respect from my family. I have red light foods that I don't touch because I know they're dangerous. I lost £87 on a pay and way program. And I was in OA at the time, but the only person I talked to on the phone was my sponsor. I was too afraid to call anyone else to bother them, so I didn't have that safety net. I didn't have that network that I have today. Now, if I'm going to a party, I get people to text before, during and after the party. I call it bookending. And that saves me because at the party under the table, I can say, I'm not eating the such and such. I mean, making a commitment to you and it helps me. Then after I lost £87 on payway that day, I went to Friendly's and I had a big giant dessert to celebrate. And I started gaining from that instance on until I was back up to 250 pounds. So I lost 100 pounds after that with a registered dietitian. And OA. And that's how I got to the weight I am now. I'm not a normal eater. If you do one thing, if you only can do one thing, keep going to meetings. Because I had an OA fellow and I had stopped going to meetings. I've been in program about 15 years. But I did leave and come back and she said to me, I'll give up chewing gum if you come back to meetings. She cared about me that much. She didn't know me. She didn't really know me. We went to the same therapist and we'd be like passing in between. I'd be in the waiting room or she'd be in the waiting room and she'd say, I'll give up chewing gum if you just go to meetings. And I did. I went back to meetings because of her. And she saved me. She's the one helped me lose that hundred pounds. She's the one that helped me get the sanity back in my life. A little angel. If you can do two things, get a sponsor, because that'll make all the difference. This program is spiritual, emotional and physical. The tools are plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone writing. I suggest writing on questions. If you're working the program, write on a question, whether you do it from the workbook or my intergroup has on their website, oanassaw.org they have first 30 questions. And there's different ways of doing it, but questions are very important. Literature Action plan. I need an action plan to go out to a restaurant. I have to look up the menu in advance and plan what I'm eating for tonight's banquet. I already have a plan of what I'm going to put on my plate. I have it in my pocketbook. I just take it out, look at it, and then go and put the food on my plate. I need an action plan for parties. Like I said, texting people, anonymity and service are the other two tools. This is the disease in this QR code. If you could take a picture of it. There's the where do I start? Pamphlet. And in there, there are four suggested food plans. So that's the physical. My mom was the first one that helped me realize I was a kimosa overeater. I didn't have this disease until I was 25 years old and I had. I had bipolar disorder. And. Thank you. I. After I had my. My episode, my first episode, I was on a lot of medication. And when I went back upstate to be with my husband, because I had been here with my parents for A time during the recovery process, I was eating and eating because I couldn't feel anything between the medication and the disease. I just kept eating and eating and eating. I would wake up, I wasn't working. I wasn't able to go to school. I would drive and meet my husband for lunch. We. I would get a portion at a restaurant that was enough for two or three servings, eat the whole thing, order dessert, and then drive through on the way home to a fast food place to get another dessert. I mean, I could not stop myself. I could not stop myself. So my mother took me to the doctor and she said, doctor, she's eating compulsively. And that was the first time that word hit me. The first time I was like, something's wrong. And then another thing. I had a pulmonary embolus. And the hematologist walked in the room. She didn't even say hello. She said, are you trying to kill yourself? And my doctor said to me, I apologize for her. And I needed to hear that. I really needed to hear that. You know, because I was on high blood pressure medication, I had a lot of health issues. This is a WE program. If I could have done this on my own, I would have done it a long time ago. So I've maintained my weight since 2018, which is an absolute miracle for me. My higher power is God with skin on. It comes through my fellows. And I had to find the good for me. I had to find the God for me. I was in graduate school and we had to do a project, so I did on losing weight. I thought, this is good. I'll do two things at the same time. But I failed because I couldn't stay on the diet. I wasn't in OA at the time. And my professor. I had to stand up and present to the. To the group and face the fact that I failed this diet. I was honest with about it, but I had my data, my charts, and my. My presentation. At the end, she said, do you think you'll try to lose weight again after you graduate? And I looked at her like, I looked at myself, and I'm like, I'm £250. And I'm saying to myself, does she really think I need to lose weight? That's how much the denial was strong in me. So this is what I do today. I plan, prepare, and pack my food between one day in advance to one week in advance. Now I'm down to, you know, like, let's say there's three portions of, of protein. Those are my next three Days. And then I'll prepare another four pieces of protein for the next. I'll have seven. Seven all together. And then I package it up and I have on my dining room table lunch bags. And all the things that don't have to be refrigerated are in each lunch bag. And there's a note on top of it what to add from the refrigerator or the freezer. And if I need a cold pack and it's all ready to go so that the whole week is ready, I have a therapist. That's my emotional side of the program. I have a registered dietitian, a sponsor. I have sponsee, a buddy, OA friends. I have a church family. I have an extended family. I go to meetings and I read OA literature. Some OA people came to my son's wedding. I was so happy. I felt like, look, I have friends. So my son just got married on October 1st. And yeah, I was stressed at the last minute because we were doing a unconventional wedding. It was a church, and everyone in the church was invited. And all my son's people that saw him grow up in the church, of course, the bride's family, we had family friends. And I was getting stressed because I didn't know how many people were going to come to the reception. I was counting on a hundred. And I said, what happens if it's more? And how we're going to clean up. We just asked one woman if she would serve and she said she would get some people to serve with her the cake. Oh, sorry. Anyway, so I was stressed at the last minute and I'm driving to get the last refrigerated items for the reception. And I'm parked, I'm stopped at a red light and the car in front of me. I was so stressed out, I had to talk to my husband about it and my therapist. And I was getting nervous and anxious. And the car in front of me had a license plate. And all the way around the plate said, too blessed to be stressed. And the license plate itself said spread love. That was not a coincidence. I needed to see that on that day, the Friday before the wedding. And there are no coincidences. My entire abstinence has been a relief. I do not see myself as losing anything because I'm not having certain foods. I don't see it as a loss in any way, but actually a gain, a positive. I've gained so much freedom. So September 1st was my four years of abstinence from my red light foods. I suggest connecting with a sponsor and getting phone numbers. Making friends with OA fellows. And I'd like to end with something that I don't have memorized, but I'm going to try to save from the best of my memory. It's called I put my hand in yours. I don't know if you know it, but I'm going to do my best. I don't have it memorized, but I have it in my phone and I can't use my phone. I put my hand in yours and together we can do what we could never do before. No longer is there a sense of hopelessness. We are standing now, extending our hands and when we do we experience a power and strength greater than ours and love and understanding beyond our wildest dreams. Thank you for letting me share. This workshop will end at 9:58 and for the rest of the time we'll hear three minute pitches from the floor. The timer. I'm sorry, I don't know your name. Ann. We'll signal you when you have one minute left. If you would like to share, please come to the front of the room. We remind you that this session is being recorded and that your sharing demonstrates your consent to be recorded. If you wish to remain anonymous, please use a fictitious name or choose not to share. Please say where you are from and how long you've been in oa, but devote your share to your OA experience on the topic which is I'm new. What's next? The meeting is open for sharing. [00:37:36] Speaker D: Hello, I'm Katherine and I'm an obsessive eater and I'm from western Connecticut and hi. And I've been in away for four months now. Last night I don't know if anybody saw the lady that was the speaker and she had that graph about the weight that went up and down or whatever. I have that same graph in my phone and it's been from 120something to 220something my whole adult life just like the lady said. It looked very familiar anyway and I've been on like every diet program, paid and not paid and whatever that there was whatever and I would lose weight but then we come back and so also I've been married three times or whatever and my first husband, I remember when I got married I was 120something pounds and beautiful wedding pictures and then a year or two later I got up to over 200 and there was a picture of I had a pair of pants that were size 20 and my husband was standing in one leg and and my 8 year old son was standing in the other leg and they were like this. And I was like, oh, man, I have to lose weight. And so I did. So anyway, then he turned out to be an alcoholic and a wife beater. So anyway, a few years later, I married somebody else, and he was an immigrant. And at the time I weighed 160something pounds, which was totally healthy. And I said, I would love you to take me back to your country so I could meet your mom. And he said, if you lose 30 pounds, I will. And so I rushed to lose 30 pounds to get down to 130 something. And I went to his country or whatever. And so then now I'm on my third marriage and this is the last one. And he's great. He's perfect. There's nothing wrong with this guy. He's amazing. We've been married for five years. So when I was at £228 a few months ago, he was like, Never made me feel bad about it. He was great and everything. I just felt bad. And I remember one night, like, reaching out to God and being like, please God, help me. I'm so powerless over food. And I remembered that my mom had brought me to OA meetings in the 80s. And so I like, googled where an OA meeting was and I started going to them. This was four months ago. And so some of the steps were easy because I'd already been doing them. Submitting my will to God and admitting that I was powerless and believing that God could help me. I already did that. And then I found out, okay, good for you. You already did that. Anyway, so now my eating plan is a bit on the restrictive side or whatever. And. But I do log my food into MyFitnessPal and I had a sponsor up until this week or whatever. And so I. She wasn't interested in hearing about my food or whatever, and she didn't make me write or whatever. And. And so anyway, so I stick with my plan. And since June, there was only been two days that I went off my food plan. And so. So those were two days that I went off my food plan. So I stick to it. And the last thing that I want to say is this. I came to this convention because I was hoping to hear an inspiring thing from someone else that it doesn't have to be as restrictive as I think it is. The program. You can never have that thing at the wedding again. Like, forget it, you can't have it. And that was the problem for me, by the way, My character defect that I asked God to help me about was God. Last night I said, please help me to be more positive and not be negative. Please help me to exude positivity and not negativity, but my reason why I'm here. I need somebody to help me. Because I said, I want to enjoy my daughter's wedding dessert in 20 years when she gets married or whatever. And people would tell me, well, you could have fruit. Or I just thought of all the other wedding desserts that I'd had in my life, and that was enough. And I just need a better answer. That's why I'm here. I'm sorry. Thank you. [00:41:47] Speaker A: Thank you. Come on up. [00:42:04] Speaker F: Good morning. I'm Stephanie Marie, and I'm a compulsive overeater. And I drove down from Ottawa to attend this conference, and I was invited by a fellow member whose roommate had dropped out. So I was really grateful to her for inviting me. I have only been in OA just over three months. I've been abstinent for six months, weeks. I came to OA after the pandemic. I've always been overweight, but what I call acceptable overweight, where you can kind of get away with it. And then through the pandemic, I think I gained about 20 pounds per year of the pandemic. And I finally had to go see my doctor in person in the spring and sends me for blood work. And now I've got high blood pressure, my cholesterol is up, I'm pre diabetic. And I was just like, what have you done to yourself? And I was. I was devastated. I had somehow never heard of OA. 50 plus years on this planet, never heard of it, heard of aa. And I was talking with a friend about that, and I said, you know, I wish I was an alcoholic because at least there's help. And I actually considered sneaking into an OA meeting and pretending to just try to get the help. And I was on a message board on the Internet about something unrelated, but there was a sub discussion going on about oa, and I'm like, is that a real thing? Really? I didn't know. So I googled and found yes, and it's a real thing. And found a meeting in Ottawa and, you know, got my courage up and went. And when I got there, it was a virtual meeting and there was no one there. So I was devastated. And I thought my way of thinking at the time was, okay, it wasn't meant to be. I'm just going home. And so I was pouting in the hallway of the community center, and there was a woman there and she said, what are you looking for? And I said, oh, I was coming for the OA meeting, but there's no one here. And she said, oh, sorry, there was a mistake on the schedule and it was this morning. But she said, here's the number for the coordinator and you can call her and find out where there's another meeting. I said, thank you very much. Ended up going to a meeting the next day. And I never saw that woman again until last weekend's meeting. And, yeah, she was my angel. Save me. So I'm just here to learn. I want to know more. I want to know everything. And it does feel like a solution to me. It feels like I'm home. One of those people that walked in and went, I'm home. So I'm so grateful to be here and grateful for everyone and just to be here and share the fellowship. [00:45:18] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:45:25] Speaker A: Come on up. [00:45:40] Speaker G: Hi, I'm Anna. I'm a compulsive, overeater, equal opportunity addict. And I thought I was in the Body Image, but there are no mistakes here. And so I've been around a long time and I am on a good run right now. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. And I guess what I want to share is my gratitude and my appreciation for all of you. And the 12 step program of Overeaters Anonymous has changed my life so much. I walked in here a broken person, and I really wasn't fully capable of being the person that I was intended to be. And that came over all the years I've been in OA, and I've been in since 94, and I've had six relapses in that time period and long, extended times of abstinence. Now I finally have learned to let go of my yellow foods, to let go of using food to fix everything. I have let that go. There is a spirituality in the universe that takes care of me and that I take in to help share so that others can know that they have that available also. And it's not the food. Thank you. It's not the food. So the 12 steps have changed my life, and I'm very, very grateful. And I think that's all. Thanks. [00:48:02] Speaker A: Thank. [00:48:20] Speaker B: Hi there. [00:48:21] Speaker A: Good morning. [00:48:23] Speaker B: Yeah, my name's Evander, and I came in this morning. Hi. Thank you. So I've been in OA. I was just thinking in my head, 46 years this year. And I came in this time around this time time, 46 years ago. And I came to this workshop because I was thinking, you know, I'm new now. What? And I was thinking, looking back 46 years, what has helped me the most to keep me from coming, to keep me coming back. And if I was a newcomer, what would I want to hear this morning? And thank you both for sharing this and everybody else who shared this morning. I think that what I heard at the first meeting that I went to, and I remember that I was scared to death. I'd never been to anything like that. There was nobody there that looked like me. And what I heard was get a sponsor. That's all I heard that first time was get a sponsor. And so that's what they said to do. So that's what I did. I got a spot sponsor. And the sponsor said, use, follow this food plan. And again, I didn't know what was going on. So I followed the food plan at that time. And I lost weight. I lost weight following that food plan, and I lost weight. And I went home and went on my merry way and went on eating all the things that I had eaten before. The weight came right back again and I came back again. So beginning of the 80s, I came and I've never left. And I'm just so thankful that I've never left. I was thinking that the other day that it's just never occurred to me to leave away because it has helped me so much. And having a sponsor, having someone to help me and show me what to do, that has been the most helpful thing for me. The other thing was following the tools, writing. I didn't know at all what feelings meant. If anybody said, what are you feeling? I felt fine. I know now that I wasn't feeling fine. So writing, I would just sit down. And again, my sponsor said, just sit down, just start writing. Even if it doesn't make any sense. You know, maybe I'd sit down and write morning. But if I just sat there and just kept on writing, thank you. It would make sense. So my thought is just. My experience is just keep coming back, go to meetings, follow that food plan. I've had so many different food plans in my life, and it took me a long time before I got abstinent, but I kept coming back because I learned so many things. So I've been in OA for 46 years. I think probably I now have maybe 12 years of abstinence. I've just met so many friends. And thank you, guys. [00:51:40] Speaker A: We didn't say you have to raise your hand. [00:51:48] Speaker C: Good morning, everyone. My name is Ann and I'm a compulsive overeater. Thank you. Thank you so much. [00:51:55] Speaker E: You too. [00:51:56] Speaker C: Thank you so much. I left my notes over there. I just want to thank all the newcomers that are here because this is how I keep my recovery. My mom brought me to my first meeting 48 years ago, and what I found there was love. As I was very neglected. I didn't realize it at the time, though I had left. I did lose all my weight. But I was dieting with group support. And God had gifted me because he didn't want me to throw my life away. Thirty months ago, three and a half years ago, I was given a reprieve from this illness. And I just jumped into our meetings here at Westchester, united into group. And there I found the love again. And what I want to say to you beautiful souls, is that we're here to love you until you can love yourself. And I've been given a second chance at life. This disease took years of dating, of being lonely. I was a horrible wife and mother. I've repaired those relationships. [00:53:12] Speaker A: There's so many miracles here. [00:53:15] Speaker C: We have two. We have these recovered folks here and what and back there. And so we extend our hands to you. And I want to get some phone numbers so I can call because that's how I keep it. I need to give it back and share, and I do. And that's an affett of me. [00:53:35] Speaker E: Thank you. [00:53:40] Speaker A: We still have time for one more. Yes, please. [00:53:58] Speaker H: Gratefully. Recovering compulsive overeater. My name is Michelle. The speaker last night said twice she used that very interesting word, recovered. She said, I have recovered from a compulsive way of eating. I'm maybe not getting the words right. One day at a time. Using a plan of recovery. So I wake up each day in addiction, right? Every day is a new day. Every day I have to do the same things that I did yesterday. So every day I wake up a beginner. Like, here it is. Hey, so what am I gonna do for this day? The longer. So I've been in program since 2002. Imperfectly, I've gone up. I've gone down. Currently. I heard something earlier in from a speaker. I'm at £250 and I'm down from 310. [00:55:10] Speaker A: So I'm like, yay. [00:55:13] Speaker H: But every day I gotta do this again and again and again. And I like, I really need to hear. Like, I come. I said I had a bunch of stuff going on. And I said to my partner, I have to go to this convention. I really had this, Like, I remember coming to conventions before, and I've been coming throughout these last 20 years. And I've been, you know, reluctant, resentful, hopeful, but not. But still suspicious. And this so far has been my best one ever. Because for some reason, and I think it's because I'm different. The people seem friendlier. They're not as scary, you know, like, hey, keep coming. Keep an attitude of openness. Because, like, I was thinking about it, what do I do to live? I feed myself. I do exercise. My cats need to be tended on a daily basis. My God, my plants. If you don't, they don't get water. I mean, it's like, oh, that's it. They're out of here. So what am I going to do, right? Where's my water? Where's my, you know, plant food? Where's my sunshine? Well, it's in these rooms. And I'm going to keep coming. Thank you guys so much. [00:56:40] Speaker A: If you didn't have time to share, please, I'm happy to listen after anyone. [00:56:47] Speaker E: That's all the time we have for sharing. Thanks for attending the workshop. We'll close with the Serenity Prayer. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done. Amen. Keep coming back. It works if you work it. And give a lot of love, so work it. You're worth it.